Self Essay

When you see me in class you may think I don’t look very happy or that I need friends. Well you would be wrong for the most part. I’m an outgoing and talented person with my friends and close classmates but in the class I’m quiet and rarely ever speak a word. In truth I am smart and doubtful, fearful and courageous. No one ever thinks about this though because when you see someone your mind starts to race about what the person looks like and what your opinion is of them. No one can see whats really there and whats really underneath the mask. I’ve had many people come into my life and just leave me in the dark. I’ve had many people hurt me emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I have grown to blame my past obstacles for the way I am and how I act. Traumatized for the rest of my days, but I have also learned from these experiences as well. You can’t let people put you down in any way or form because it’s your life and it doesn’t matter what anybody thinks. You are who you are. Your choices are your own to make whether they are wrong or right…we all make mistakes and we learn from them to have a better way of life.

             The life of a school student has been an interesting, horrible, and tremendous experience for me. Familiar faces year after year, some I befriended and some I just repeatedly passed in the hall. Sometimes I make judgments about the different types of students as I pass them everyday, but eventually, I see them as the same. Not as in looks, personality, or thought but as in how they act on a day to day basis, who they hang around with and what they are interested in. I guess you could say my world has turned into a black and white movie…there are no colors to differentiate us.

              Now, the teachers are definitely different from each other. Some teachers will sit up at the front of class and talk without a worry, just wasting class time is all they do. Others will get very strict and they believe that all students need to be on 24/hr patrol when in the classroom. This is just in my opinion and the way I see teachers. My favorite teacher, if I do say so myself, is one who will make sure you have your work done, but they still interact with you and make the class fun. I believe classes should be hands on instead of just work, work, work.

             Other than my school life, home life was worse. As a young child I really didn’t like being at home much. School was a place I could be in peace almost all the time and when summer came I dreaded it. My mom would have the worse taste in men and being around them was like waiting for a time bomb to go off, scary and terrifying. Growing up with all of these experiences was a total life changer and it makes me feel like I should have grown up to be a different person in some way. But as I got older I grew to be mature and strong…at least on the outside and this might help in my future. My obstacles have turned me into a very unique person and even though I am just another “Dark Horse” someday I will reveal my complete self to the world and I will be known.

My Perspective on Humans

Everyone takes for the granted the things we receive in life, whether its what you do or don't want. The home you get to go to every day, the food put on your plate, and the bed you sleep in. Its all taken for granted and I should know because I've taken for granted many things but I'm only human and its what we do as one of our faults. There are people out there that don't get food everyday, some barely enough for what we would call an actual meal. No beds or homes. I'm not talking about a well built building that you can go into and call home, I'm talking about a place that a family lives in with plenty of space, good lighting, and closed off rooms. No one really knows what they have until its all taken away, or at least they don't think about what they have. They have to complain because someone has the newest, most expensive pair of high heels or the new car. We can't be happy with what we already have and so we try to find a way to get what we want. But what happens when we do get what we want? Something else comes out on the market and we complain because we want that as well. Having all of your belongings stripped from you is worse than not getting the next big thing or having the nicest clothing in school. The feeling is terrible, horrible. From the way I see it some people need to experience this to be able to appreciate what they have. I can understand it better when someone whose been poor and had to work literally everyday all day just to feed their children or themselves wants a little something more that they know they cant have and wont have. Someone who has been homeless, abused, and had to live in a shelter or out on the streets wants the new nice car or the biggest and nicest house. Those people don't have anything. The world needs to stop and take a serious look around and maybe if the analyze others and see that they are better off than some then maybe they will shut their mouths for a while.

My Mind Is Hellz Bellz

My Mind Is Hells Bells, So...this is my mind. This is how it works and this is what it contains...
It is in fact a dark, dreary, and cold place...simply weird. I don't know many people who would want to know a person like me nor do I believe I belong here in this world we call "HOME".
If you don't know me, and that should be the majority of you, then this should be interesting...If you think you know me, well...I trust that you are going to find many things that you never knew about me. Happy reading.

In my opinion I find people to see me as quiet and shy (obviously) and maybe the odd one. There are lots of words I could use, such as, strange and ignorant...perhaps even looby. For anyone who doesn't know what looby means, its an awkward, clumsy and lazy fellow. I've been called awkward before and the feeling it produces hurts more than the word itself sounds. Excuse me for being a dark, sensitive and deep individual, for I am and all I can be is me. How can I explain who I am and what I'm about to anyone when all I think about is how they take it and what they register me as in their minds, afraid to be an outcast for much longer, not wanting to be alone but instead wanting those around me to be happy with me and befriend me without faking it. Yet, I still wonder at times if they truly like me or if they would just like me to leave.

Who I am

Lets begin...I'm KRISTA! That's all I'll EVER be is Krista. Not you or anyone else but Krista! If you don't like that then get the hell out of my way and leave me alone. First off, I am very defensive over my friends and everyone I love. Basically If you hurt them in any way I WILL come after you and make sure you feel 5X the pain you gave them. Second, If you try to hurt me or piss me off in the wrong way I swear you will regret it and you may even possibly be missing apart of your body. I'm not normally a violent person but push me too far and I can be. Third, I'm not christian so don't try to preach the name of god in my face. I'm atheist and you wont be able to persuade me otherwise so GET OVER IT! I do things me way and live MY life my way. Honestly I'm a really nice person, I'm random, outgoing, shy, funny, rough on the outside but soft on the inside. Message me if you want to know more, Thnx!